Written on 13th June 2008
Teaching musical drama classes is my passion. To be able to teach my own children in the musical drama class is a special ‘Privilege’. Yesterday, I taught my group of home-schoolers (with my son too) at the USJ homeschool centre. Our theme was on ‘String Instruments’. We were having a Rhythmical activity during the theatre games where I instructed the children to follow the pitching exercise. They were supposed to stand on the chair when they hear a high pitch sound and sit on the floor when low pitch sound was heard. After playing on the instruments for them to listen and associate their movements a few times, my son, as usual volunteered to start doing the movement first. However, after trying twice, he failed to follow the proper pitch movements. Embarrassed and disappointed, he gave up trying and went to hide himself at the corner. The others continued to try until they got the cue. This made my son even madder. Throughout the last 20 minutes of lesson, he just refused to join the others. I tried to coax him into trying again and that he could do it, but to no avail. Being a strong-willed child, he held on to his stand.
Heart of a teacher cum mother
As a mother, I felt angry and I didn’t understand why he would refuse such a simple pitching movement. How could I encourage him to try? I have to keep my cool though, since the class was still on. As a teacher, I knew I have to persevere in winning ‘discouraged children’ to come out of themselves. That’s what the course is all about. I moved on to another activity, Musical mime play, where I could get him to notice and respond a little while the rest of the class were still actively participating. At the end of the class, he was still NOT THROUGH!!!
”I ain’t gonna give up on him.” I had to think about something quick to get him back on track. So, I sat down together with the children and started talking about their first baby steps. I threw them the question: “What happens if a baby decides to say to himself that he’s not going to try to walk because it’s just too painful and difficult to do so?” Very smart answers from each of them such as, ”Then he’ll be lame for the rest of his life”, “He’ll not be able to run and play”, “He’ll not be able to play Wild Force Power Rangers” etc. All the while, I was trying to peep at my son from the corner of the eyes to see how he would respond. I encouraged them about the most important persons in their lives like parents, teachers etc who would encourage them to persevere and not give up etc. I knew my son was listening. As I continued, ”You know, sometimes, the hardest thing is when you fail and you feel like a fool – embarrassed and very, very sad.” ”I understand your feelings; I feel like that too… many, many hundred times more than you do.” “But you know what, I told myself I want to be like that baby, do not care or worry about whether being laughed at or anything like that, I will focus to try to walk, that’s right. Walk, I must do it.” “Such child-like faith”. Then one of boys said, “yes, just like the disciples of Jesus who shooed the children away and Jesus told them not to and that everyone who has child-like faith can come to him.”
At that moment, at the corner of my eye, I noticed my son’s eyes getting redder and he was wiping his tears away secretly. I finally understood that he was not trying to rebel on purpose or to make havoc. The true fact is that he was bruised in his ego and if I did not address this matter, he would go deeper into his shell. I concluded the chit-chatting session by encouraging him to try the exercise again. This time I got my students to cheer him on. He still refused though, so I thought just give him time. A moment later, someone shouted “Hey, JY did it! He could do that already!” He secretly did it on the chair without me noticing it and wow, that was the first breakthrough. Hmm… he was still aloof. He didn’t want to help me carry the stuff as he would do normally. He just walked away and tried to avoid eye-contact with me. You know, I felt crushed, like wanting to give up but I knew I had to hang on there.
Winning his heart again
On the way back, we (some of my students, my son & I) talked about their interests etc. After a very long while, then I asked my son (seated right behind the driver’s seat) “Do you want to be like that anymore?” “No.” “Do you think you can try the movements again next week without getting angry?” No reply. “Maybe we can practise a few times at home so that you’ll be able to do it during the class, OK?” “Ok (softly).” “I’m sorry, mummy.” “I forgive you. I understand how you feel. Please don’t give up easily the next time you face something tough, OK? We’ll try to work at it together, OK?” ”OK.” “Please give me a hug.” I held my hand backwards and he touched it with his warm hands. I knew I had won him back.
